Check out this hilarious Beijing hotel brochure

One of my sister’s friends sent this to her and I just had to share with you: This is super funny!

I especially like the chambermaid bit..

============================================================================

BEIJING ENGLISH-CHINESE HOTEL BROCHURE:
Getting There:

Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water. You will know that you are getting near the hotel, because you will go round the bend. The manager will await you in the entrance hall. He always tries to have intercourse with all new guests.

The hotel:

This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We of course are always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are available in the evenings to put down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others. But please note that ladies are not allowed to have babies in the bar. We organize social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play with them self.

The Restaurant:

Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle with you.

Your Room:

Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter, every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity. You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts.

Bed:

Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her. She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers.

Above all:

When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope. You will struggle to forget it.”

Advertisements

2 comments

  1. mr Burns · · Reply

    oh god, this is an English language nightmare……my eyes are still burning.

    1. Yes damn funny… the chambermaid one..

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

love.life.eat

living a mindful life

theBERRY

Hotness, heart, humor and too much wine

Maskcara

Get out there, gorgeous.

breatheeatlive | Where I've eaten, What I cook

An Austin Girl's Lifestyle blog: I Love Food & Telling Stories About My Adventures

Katie Goes to France

WWOOFing in Velaux

frugal first class travel

Dream. Plan. Pack. Travel. Repeat

Paddle Faster

Memories are the currency in which I measure my life.

Wilde About Dogs

Just another WordPress.com weblog

Earthquakes, Skydiving and Kiwis

Winter in New Zealand 2013

things and stuff I love

a better life, one small step at a time.

From High Heels to Hiking Boots

A Backpacking Adventure

Europe By Yaris

One couple, one continent, one long summer

mrchefpooh

All about Food

Birdy begins

Travel, style, things that make you go hmm...

kasamud & more

just travel and eat...

GNineThree | Singapore Food Blog

Chronicles of a girl's food & baking escapades around the world

Rubbish Eat Rubbish Grow

Singapore Food Blog | Singapore Food Reviews | Best Singapore Food | Singapore Best Restaurants | Singapore Travel Blog | Singapore Hotel Reviews | Singapore Staycations

Clara Persis

Refining Social Marketing

The Ranting Panda

of blacks and whites and everything else | singapore | food reviews, lifestyle & travel

dinners for winners

happiness comes from good food

not on orchard

Follow me as I set-up home in Singapore

The Sixth Station

Fueled by popcorn and Dr. Pepper

michaelevansphotographerblog

Life as a Commercial Photographer based in Melbourne Australia...

andmorefood

will travel for food

%d bloggers like this: